Back in the middle of 2019, I was contacted by a man by the name of Dale McFee. Dale, or should I say Chief McFee, had been newly appointed as the new Chief of Police for Edmonton Police Service. I had never met Dale. I had heard very little about him. I was invited to have a facetime (well, skype) meeting with him as he wanted to introduce himself. Which I thought was lovely. He didn’t have to do that. He could have sent an email. He could have sent a letter. From that initial conference call, we decided on a face to face to meeting. It was decided that myself, Dans parents and the boys would come back to Canada as there were some things that needed our attention.

Off we went on a journey back to Edmonton. November 2019. This was to be the first time we had stayed in YEG as-for want of a better word-tourists. We didn’t have our house to stay in. We had a hotel room right in the city centre. We had a rental car and a concierge-that I instantly grew accustomed to having! The boys didn’t have a choice of all the TV channels. They didn’t have their own rooms. That had to be quiet whilst walking through the corridor. (If you’ve met my children then you’ll know that a herd of elephants are quieter) They had access to an indoor pool. Although strange, it was perfect as it allowed the boys to switch off from the mode of ‘home number two’. This was to be classed as a winter holiday for them, with a few serious things that mum, grandma Neece and grandad David had to do along the way.

Yet again, the boys were treated like superstars by those at EPS and those at Constable Woodall School. The things that needed our attention?

Cst Woodall.. June 8th 2015.. Fallen Police officer.. Official report.. No sugar coating.. Nitty gritty.. WTF actually happened their son.. Their dad.. My husband.. Dan.

The boys were scooped up nice and early by two wonderful police officers. Their day was going to be jam packed! Going to the canine unit, going up in the police helicopter for a trip around Edmonton. That, and so much more. Lucky boys! We were greeted in the hotel lobby by the Chief, the Chaplain (who had been there since the start) and a few other people. Once again, we were treated like royalty.

As this was official business, we went to one of the government buildings (I think- it was an important building and it was very official) The gathering was to be held in one of the board rooms. All of a sudden, this all became very real. Easy, laid back chit chat had changed to a more formal narrative. We were each handed a stapled bundle of paper. This was it. This was what would tell us. Would it be everything we needed to know? Everything we wanted to know? Everything we thought we wanted to know but actually didn’t?

The meeting lasted a couple of hours if I remember correctly. It was intense. Lots of raised voices on my part. Lots of tears. Lots of emotions. Its was horrendous and freeing all at the same time. I was left disgusted, humbled, tricked, justified, acknowledged… and in the end thankful.

Everything I had asked for was taken into consideration. To be honest, I think I demanded all these answers. Turned out there were many things I didn’t know about. Many truly awful things that happened that night. There were things that I knew in my gut but was led to believe I was finding someone/something to blame. There were explanations that finally made sense as to why I couldn’t see Dan. Why I had been left for so long without knowing that it was Dan who had died. More importantly, there were things that had been put in place so that this would (hopefully) never have chance to happen again.*_{a version of this was recently released to the public}*

That evening, we all went out to dinner at one of Dan’s favourite restaurants. It was at that point we were given something so unbelievably special. A medal. A medal of honour. It is-as far as I’m aware- the second highest honour that can be given to a police officer. This beautiful medal was for him. Confirming just how serious his loss was taken. Confirming how he gave his life for a job that he literally gave his life to. It was a beautiful end to a tough day.

Where am I going with this?

The report into all this has been published in the last few days. Something that has taken almost seven years to happen. Multiple investigations. Multiple changes in regulations and processes that have been established and put into practice.

EPS aren’t hiding anything. They have no need to. I will post about it. It’s up to you if you want to read it…

C x

Hiya.

First of all… APRIL?! Where have those months actually gone? I mean, this year I was going to write and publish so much more. I know time passes by a lot quicker than we like to admit but, wow.

What’s been happening with you,Claire? I hear you ask. Well, I’m going to tell you.

I decided that I wanted to further my career a little while ago. I don’t know about you, but the thought of applying for a position within your current employment is actually quite terrifying. Why? Well, above all else, they all know you. I had initially decided to apply for a role that consisted of being mentored for the role that you would want to progress to in the future. During that application, another position popped up. This one was a full time role that was advertised externally. I decided to apply for them both. It seemed that a lot of the staff wanted me to apply too. Which was lovely to think that they believed in me that much in the short period of time that I had been there. They were wonderful. Giving me advice, helping me with wording etc. Bloody amazing people!

I had a good relationship with the management that were holding the interviews (not a typo, there were multiple). They had a pretty good idea of my role and the various ways in which I dealt with situations that arose. So, what was the problem? I refer back to the previous paragraph. Applying for a position within your current employment is, quite frankly, terrifying. I couldn’t really wing it. I couldn’t blag it- and don’t even try and tell me that you don’t extend the truth to make you look good, because that’s an almighty fib and you know it!

Oh..My..Word! It was and is one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. I didn’t get the main position, but was offered the initial position that I had applied for. Something I’m so glad I am able to pursue now. It’s giving me the tools I need for the future.

Ok..great story.. where is this actually going..? The thing is, I almost didn’t bother going for either role. I was brushing it off. Telling myself that I should really wait as I’d not been in the job long enough. I’d not had enough experience. I’d have to make sure the boys were prepared for the possible change in my hours. I’d have to make sure the boys were ready for the change. Common denominator? Negativity. All these people believed in me more than I believed in myself.

It can’t win. You can’t allow it to win. You can take the negativity and then switch it round. Life will always have some negatives.. it’s what you do to change that negative into a positive that helps you get ahead.

That’s all for now folks!

C x