Here we are then. Anniversary number seven. Reminder number seven. Remembering the f*cking build up to some of the worst two days of my life seven.

I’m not all that sure what I am expecting of myself . It’ll be a day of people lovingly sending me messages. **something that is important to me. I know that they are all genuine and heart felt,and that they absolutely get me through so thank you, thank you, thank you**.

It won’t be “the day” for me though. Most of you know that it was so late finding out that my husband had been brutally murdered by someone who clearly wasn’t in their right mind, that I always feel like it is the following day. Yes, I said the M word. I’ve had enough of the killed in the line of duty this time. The top and bottom of it is that Dan was M worded.

Dan, I miss you. I miss your voice. I miss the fact that I haven’t had a tag team partner for so very long. I miss the disagreements we would have. I miss the way we would laugh together. I miss the boring and mundane stuff.

Then I look at those two pain in my backsides. They are just so like you. Our youngest was playing football the other weekend. As he stood there…well, it was just you! The mannerisms..the pose…the walk… I was just in awe of it. He hadn’t seen you since he was four, yet there he was, imitating you perfectly without even knowing it.

Our eldest is the same. He sleeps like you. Is a meataholic just like you. Will try anything once like you. He’s definitely getting more like my side of the family though. sooo, yeah, sorry.

I hope that you are looking down and are proud of what I am trying to do. It’s not an easy task. I mean, they’re boys!

I reminded the boys that it was your anniversary on wednesday. To which G said that we needed to eat Five Guys as it was one of your favourite places to eat.

And that’s what we’re going to do.

Cx