Dan was scheduled to do a 5pm start on this day. Which meant whilst I worked my regular daytime job, he was working in his own way by looking after the boys. My job was fantastic. It was with an amazing radio station in the heart of Edmonton. I had worked there part time from home for several years and when this opportunity came, I couldn’t pass it up. Weirdly enough, Dan also knew some of the staff there so all in all it worked well for us. They knew our situation and would accommodate if needed. My position was a little of everything. Basically, admin staff. From manning reception, meeting all the listeners and clients that came into the building, to helping the sales and management team with whatever was needed. Also, social events- which were always so much fun. The station’s used to call their listeners and staff their family. It was completely true.

Dan was scheduled to bring the boys to my work at 4:30pm. He had been with Callen all day and Gabe had been at school. I would bring them home with me and Dan would go off to work. The boys (and our respective workplaces) were well used to this routine and it usually worked like clockwork. Today though, of course, it wasn’t. I was running behind schedule with things that needed completing before the end of the day and Dan seemed a little impatient. He was clearly a little flustered, like myself when I came out through the security door. The boys were running around the big reception area like lunatics. I heaved a sigh and said I’m so sorry. I suggested that he leave as he was obviously needing to get to work sooner rather than later. He went to leave as I was shouting the boys to come and say bye to their dad. He was bolting for the door. WOAH! Where is my kiss. I spotted a little eye roll as he doubled back and gave me a little peck on the lips. I would have normally made him come back again- I hate those kisses. They aren’t real kisses that sometimes don’t even make contact. I’m also a firm believer that you should always, always kiss each other goodbye or goodnight. Usually, I would tell him to come back for another one, but he was in too much of a hurry for that. How I wish I had…

The evening went as normal. Going home, making supper, getting the kids ready for bed in-between their fighting. Dan would normally text or call at around 7:30 to say night to the boys and to see how I was- seeing as we hadn’t spoken for the day. There was the odd time that he didn’t get chance until late into the night but he would always try by about 10pm. Bedtime came around and no message. No big deal… he is obviously busy. Then weird things started happening. Message after message asking if Dan was ok. Asking if I knew anything about the situation going on in the west end of the city. These started from about 5:15pm. It was unusual. I had only been home an hour. The messages just kept coming.

It was so very strange. No one had ever messaged me, well not my friends anyway. Similar messages started appearing on my phone. Alarm bells started ringing. I decided to go to social media in case anything was on there. News were reporting an incident in West Edmonton. Dan was based downtown. It didn’t occur to me that his position took him all over the city. Maybe I blocked it out on purpose. I decided to look at one of the Facebook pages I followed, EPS Wives. It was a page for support and general information. They were also commenting on the events of the night. Now I was getting worried. I couldn’t concentrate on it though as the boys were up and down the stairs. Mum! Gabe did this! Mum! Callen did that! It’s too hot in my room! Looking back, it was a welcome distraction…

More text messages and Facebook messages appeared. So much so that the battery on my phone was close to empty. I decide to message one of our mutual friends, he and Dan had worked together in the UK. He tried his best to calm me stating that if it was Dan, I would have found out by now. The time seemed to stall but before I knew it, it was past 10pm. Another close friend of ours called me. I picked up and her first words were “are you ok?”  I can’t even remember what I said. Pretty certain that my phone died during the conversation. She was on a night shift and completely stressed out with her job that night. She didn’t need to be calling me and comforting me but she was. And I was grateful. With all the calls and messages, I went to make sure the boys were asleep, their fans were making that wonderful white noise so I closed their doors. Walking into our bedroom, I plugged my phone in and waited for it to turn back on. Sitting on the bed, a shiver went down my spine. I suddenly felt incredibly sick. It was warm out so I opened our large bedroom windows and sat in the dark. Waiting for my phone was like waiting for my lifeline. Waiting for my life support to turn back on. It was my only way of comfort. The only way I could talk to people and try to calm myself down. Finally, I saw the light of the phone come on and scrambled to call her again. The cord wasn’t very long and I couldn’t get comfortable. I felt awful calling her in work but I needed to talk to her.

She simply said hello and I broke down. Again, I can’t remember what I said but I remember what I saw. I was knelt by the bed on the floor (stupid short charging cord) The window was in the corner of my left eye. I saw what looked like car lights and peered over. There they were, police cars. Parking outside my house. Would they come up the path to my house. Oh, my god, of course they will, there aren’t any other police officers that live down our street. I just remember a blood curdling scream, hanging up on her and running down the stairs.

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